cairns

I have been reading among the emergent folks of the desire for church that allows conversation, exchange, community and growth.  I just posted an entry on “deep” because there was no opportunity for any of that at the meeting I attended.  Some “group response” and carefully timed and guided “small group sessions” in the name of “good teaching” and “group formation,” but there was no real opportunity for exchange and fellowship.  We sat in rows and mostly listened to teaching from the front to the ‘participants.’  And it was a “Team Formation” meeting! So, I blog instead in desperate search for conversation, discussion, friends, and real growth.

My lone wolf days have exhausted themselves.  I seek community and I thank the folks writing of the emergent church who are trying to show us possibilities to escape method and program and become real.

peace

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My pastor friend asked the group what images or words come to mind with the word “deep” as in Jesus told Peter to put out into the deep and let down his nets. The words were all negative — dangerous, tempest, dark, unknown, threatening… It was one of those occasions where I wanted to begin immediately to give opposite answers, but felt the flow of the lesson moving on and felt that it would be disruptive and maybe “show stealing.” My friend did turn to positive adjectives as he moved forward to invite those present to go deep with God while also acknowledging that God is not “safe.”

So, here I sit talking to my blog like a diary I hope somebody will read and maybe respond to as well. Deep? Deep! Deep is dangerous when we are boating on the surface afraid to get wet. The tempest is on the surface. The calm is in the deep. Even friends who have drowned and been revived have told me that in the deep was calm, all the panic and fear were on the surface. My friend Dan had just finished speaking about the ‘woman at the well.’ Deep at the well? It means the promise of water that is cold and pure. Its only dangerous if you fall in where you do not belong. And my mind travels to caving. Now, I do not really like caving and the sense of great weight above me instead of sky. I prefer being on the top of the mountain to being in its belly. Yet cave deep? The temperature levels out and stays the same all year unaffected by surface changes of either heat or freeze. Deep is constant.

Deep in the ocean we now know there are creatures of outrageous beauty living beyond the sun apparently created by the sheer joy and for the pleasure of the creator. Deep is magic. The children know. The sailor can survive below the sea when accompanied by the magic mer-people. Deep is dangerous when we do not belong there and do not have the magic.

I think that is the difference. To come into the deep presence of God is to be undone unless one is already redone by the precious work of Jesus. Then, it is deep into the embrace of Abba. Yesterday a friend offering counsel told me I spend too much energy “striving.” When I am dealing with all the problems of the surface, the issues of life, things, bills, and human institutions — he is right. But in the deep? In the deep, I rest.

peace

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If you chose to be a soldier, choose to believe your government’s call to kill and be killed, choose to take the small financial enticements, believe the tales of ancient glory, if you choose to be a soldier — I will mourn you in your passing and I will welcome you when you return home.  The God of grace demands it.

But, I will not salute and praise you for merely putting yourself and others at risk.  I will not deify you for believing any line your government gives as if you have no brains or intellect to evaluate the Truth.  I will not praise you for protecting my safety as you blindly stir hatreds that will pay out in evil into my grandchild’s lifetime.  And I will not sing of your glory in the sanctuary of the One who came teaching love of both neighbor and enemy!  I will not call holy your sacrifice defending our abundance in lands where children starve and die from lack of medicine.   You tell me you are brave, loyal, and dedicated to your country; and I will tell you every child of Hitler claimed the same.  I cannot give you my heart and praise for that.  I will save those for Theresa and her sisters humbly picking up the dying.  I will praise God for the servants reaching out to anyone in the madness with a needle, a small dish of food, a healing touch of heaven, not a gun.

I am not big enough to comprehend all the affairs of the world.  But, I understand light and dark, love and hate, service and destruction, and I read the words of He who came to show us heaven’s way with a heavy — heavy heart.

I will grieve you when you pass and welcome you should you return to us.  But, I will not ordain your choice.  The Way of Nazareth is a very different road.

peace

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How great a wrong is it for man to silence anything created to praise Creator God?

Psalm 148:1 Praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD from the heavens, praise him in the heights above.

2 Praise him, all his angels, praise him, all his heavenly hosts.

3 Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars.

4 Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies.

5 Let them praise the name of the LORD, for he commanded and they were created.

6 He set them in place for ever and ever; he gave a decree that will never pass away.

7 Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,

8 lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding,

9 you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars,

10 wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds,

11 kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth,

12 young men and maidens, old men and children.

13 Let them praise the name of the LORD, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.

14 He has raised up for his people a horn,  the praise of all his saints, of Israel, the people close to his heart.
Praise the LORD.

Isn’t it time to expand our narrow vies of God’s family, including our obligation to love them as created brothers and sisters?

peace

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Do you have a place in the world where your soul and body know they belong– to each other, to this planet, to this creation and creator?

Last night my daughter was telling me of a conversation with a teacher surprised to find that she knew of Chafee County, had been there, had summited Mt. Princeton as a twelve year old.  And it swept over me like a wave.  Thank you Chafee County for every moment I ever spent within your borders.  Thank you for the Young Life years and the trips with my daughter, and earlier with my father.  Thank you for Goldbrick Delaney’s, Seven Thieves, and the ice cream shop.  Thank you for the small town fireworks, the history, and the fun.

If heaven turns out to be here, not ‘out there’, look for me in Chafee County when I am gone.  My soul rests just by allowing my mind to travel to the slopes my body remembers so well.  If I could transport myself to anywhere on earth tonight, you would find me now sitting on a rock in the collegiate peaks and I would breathe, oh deep sweet breath, I would breathe deep and long.

peace

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I was walking them to the bus after our last day of grade five. I was talking to little D, plenty of brains, reputation of a doofus, pampered by mom, irritation artist extraordinary. But, I had found him out. When he writes for real, he can out communicate any gifted kid in the building. When he focuses, he is capable of seeing beyond what the average kid his age sees. So, I was talking with him on the last trip to the bus. I was encouraging him to let the middle school see his intelligence, to find his identity in his given talents. He turned to me in all sincerity as he got on the bus, held up his report card and said, “This report, all four grading periods, is the best I have ever taken home in my life. My mom is going to be thrilled with THIS!”

Enjoy the moment D. Enjoy the summer. You earned it.

peace

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My major concern with consumer church personally is not the theology, although I agree with the critics who have clearly spelled out those risks.  My personal issue is that I do not want to be treated like a consumer.  At least not like my culture treats consumers.  I do not want you to plot my interests and probable responses and then offer god on an attractive end aisle display.  I want to encounter God.  I do not like the way you manipulate me when you see me as a consumer of your church product.

If I am to consume, let it be the Bread of Life, not music styles, sermon methods and topics, or even emblems of remembrance.  Why not help me come into the presence of the God whose love exceeds your imagining or packaging.  Let Him consume me and I think we will be fine.

peace

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I keep encountering it. When I as a member express a lifelong desire to be in ministry, I am told my life is ministry. When its time to offer prayer, help, or counsel at the end of each service, its “elders and pastors” will be available to you. When it suits the sales pitch, my career is ministry. When the point being made wants a different twist, it becomes “in full time ministry you would discover…”

But last week it was consumer church double speak that may have done me in. We are in the middle of a series on the family, and the lead pastor was using the text on Abraham and Isaac to say that children must not be placed above God.  OK, I was tracking with his points.  I was still hanging in there as he said that failure to put things in the right perspective would cause parents to fail to spank their children. I admit there was a little vindication in it as we used mild corporal punishment with our children and many members of the church looked down on us as too strict. But, it wasn’t setting well because those friends who did NOT believe in any physical punishment raised some wonderful children and he was standing up there condemning their choices in the name of God.

Then, the real zinger for me. Parents are required somehow by this interpretation of the Old Testament text to force their children to attend youth group even if they do not like the leader or activities. The threat was that otherwise we will create children who grow up with a consumer perspective toward church!

Now let me get this straight. If your latte serving, highly marketed, T-shirt selling program is not attractive to my child, I rather than you am responsible for her observation that church is a consumer based service? Am I also responsible for her determination that she is not in your preferred target group?  Is Abraham’s tying up and raising the knife above Isaac proof that I am supposed to sacrifice my child to your program’s need for numbers? Which failed your product and advertising, or my parenting?

peace

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I am helplessly a true believer.

I still believe the “City on a Hill” can be more than fantasy.  I still want to believe that we can move past quibbling over PC rules of offensive vocabulary and focus on how we really treat each other.  I still believe Leonard should be allowed to go home in peace.  I still believe in the voice of the people, all people — including Christians (and Tom Cruise!), to say what they truly believe and not be vilified for merely having said it.

I still believe that The American Dream is worth fighting for.  It is true that true wealth does not come from working harder in the factory or kitchen.  But a good life for a family can — if we quit putting it down and claiming it does not matter.  Where do our children get these ideas?  They get them from us!  The dream would work far better for them if they had to work first and have later like our grandparents.  We short circuit them with “establishing credit” in order to have it all now and then slave forever trying to pay for it after it breaks.  Still I know a generation of Mid-Western Blacks who came from working families who insisted that they would work, be people of high moral character, and succeed.  More than one of them has honored me by being my mentor over the years.  They would both agree with many of the comments in my despairing blog, and criticize me for looking at the empty half of the glass.

I still believe that when God intervenes, the impossible happens.  The US almost destroyed itself, but it freed its slaves (before it freed its wives and children!).  But, slaves do not become free with their eyes in the dirt, or coveting the Master’s cruel gains and property.  Slaves become citizens when they look up to the King who values the small, the broken, the humble and chooses to exalt them.

I still believe our planet is a living and holy thing.  I rejoice when small victories are made in cleaning areas and restoring habitats.  I still mourn when idiots debate whether we are poisoning both her and ourselves and define it all by the political leanings of the person who spoke.  I believe she will last as long as God will her to last, with extra pain and suffering due to our failed stewardship/love for her.  Perhaps even now she is in her Golgotha moments.  But, the God who created and loves her has never been proven to me to have abandoned her to our whims and callous hearts.  He will renew in His time and His way.  We will just miss being part of the miracle.

I still believe in the church.  Wobbly, weak kneed, at times vulgar and even repulsive, in short human, I still believe in her.  The saints are all made of clay and so is our collective self.  But, we are now divine as well and God does show up in the faithful gathering of those who truly seek him.  Lately I find it to be happening in houses, bars, and wilderness as much as in grand palaces.  But, it still happens because He has not abandoned His wayward bride.

I like Paul do wish to be home, but I also cherish the miracles of the kingdom singing and celebrating around us everyday right here, right now.  But, oh for the promised day of the King’s true reign and reunion with all those blessed friends who have already crossed over.  Never fear, I consider no short cuts.  But, pardon my distant look when people who are close to God beg to be spared from moving into His presence.  I long for the day I look into those eyes….

And, the God who was willing to become completely, utterly, painfully, huggably, dangerously human does come to me and help me in these times of such trouble and so little hope for any of these things to be reality.

What I am really saying is I am still seeking a cadre of fools!  I miss the days when many of us still believed these things enough to work for them, fight for them, offend the rules of middle class smooth waters for them.  I miss the rowdy ones on the right and on the left.  I miss the debate of those who stand for something even when somebody says “Oh that is close-minded or naive.” I miss Abby happily declaring that Revolution can be fun.  I long for comrades who will continue thei Quixote journey to do the impossible!

peace

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They taught us ours was a country founded by God fearing people who wanted freedom and justice for all. They told us our wise forefathers believed in the decency of man and gave voice to the common citizen for the good of all. We were never supposed to believe it. Washington threatened Shay, the Guard blew us away at Kent, and Leonard Peltier still sits in a cell for claiming a piece of worthless reservation land. Years after high school my teacher told me, “Ya’ll were nuts. No other group actually believed all that crap.”

They told us anyone could achieve the American dream by working hard, studying hard, obeying the Boy Scout law. Then they used up and discarded a generation in Vietnam, assigned the poor and the black to do our ‘mexican’ work and provide jobs for jailer whites. They never told us how much capital sits at the top and how little trickles down on us. They never told us how much it takes to know your home is yours and your children’s education is secure. They told us it was just up to us. But, we were never supposed to believe it. Educated and uneducated sleep in similar shelters. Tomorrow’s check covers last months needs if you are lucky and next month’s check is a ball and chain. I built a place that took their hated ones and gave them back children of the city and they spit on us and tore it down. We were never supposed to believe.

They told us Pharaoh let all his slaves go. Watched them walk away with gold and wealth and drown his forces in the sea. Then the people of the land melted before them to establish the promised land. But, we were never supposed to believe it. Even the text says they lived in constant war, not sudden victory. No oppressor has ever set the people free. Only in Haiti did the slave conquer the empire and they left them there on their pitiful little fragile cork of victory. No Pharaoh does not set people free and he does not give them fabulous parting gifts.

They told us the planet could be kept safe by eating some natural food, wearing funny clothes, wishing peace upon our neighbors of all species. Heck some of them even told us we could improve the environment by driving cars instead of riding foul horses and later by wearing synthetics instead of supporting the filthy animal and agricultural trades! But, the heat builds and they tell us its OK, look the other way. Wealth and science always win. The gods are in their chambers and it will be fine. We were never supposed to believe.

We went to church and they spoke of love of God, brother, sister, foreigner, and enemy. They spoke of Acts and sharing the adventure of faith, supporting each other and reaching all peoples. We were never supposed to believe. They were building houses of cards, careers for those who prefer speech to action, structures to do good without facing the victims of their lies. They tell us our service is so valuable to both God and man and they forget your name when you walk out the door. Dare to show them where their sacred texts contradict their structure and security and they will teach you how to fly through doors of glass and beauty.

If I told you how the voice in my head says a quick jump from a very tall place might give just one moment of their promised freedom, you would lock me up. Why should I believe that voice either?

But they told me of a God who pursues a man through heavens, earth and hell. They told me of a God who suffers, laughs and cries. They told me of a God who does set captives free and give them the wealth of ages. They told me of a God who walks, eats, fights, jokes and defecates. And He shows up! In spite of all the lies and barriers to believing there is anything but the stable and the dwarves, He arrives.

I do not think they ever met Him. They would not tell so many lies if they knew Him. He still gets angry. He is not happy with me now in my funk. But, I know a secret they tell with their lips and still do not know, He is here and He is good. Though He slay me, He is good and He is here. I don’t know what he is saying, or I would try to tell you so you could see it past the lies. I can’t hear a thing this morning, but He is here and that is all I need for this moment. I believe.

peace

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