cairns

S, thank you.  L, thank you as well.  D, D, and B thank you for being part of the place we had that made this place possible.  As I was scanning and uploading this image it occurred to me.  This is and will most probably remain the pinnacle of my teaching career.

The experiences I had that day right where this picture was taken are also now a major metaphor of my current life.  All I have most of the time or truly need is strength and sight for one more rock, one more step, and a clear marker in the distance.

peace

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We had a really good discussion (with precious few people attending) last night at church led by D.  She shared her experiences and struggles with the in-your-face poverty of Africa framed in Biblical context.  The best part of it all was her transparency in admitting there are no sure bet, do this every time, magic program answers  for either the macro-systems,  or the  micro-encounter with the individual beggar.

My paraphrase is that there is only the cross.  Looking suffering in the face, speaking and listening with the real people you encounter, and connecting where you can.  Listening to the promptings of the Spirit, following the example of Jesus to do “what the Father is doing,” and obeying as you are able.  These are the two axis of the cross — meaningful reconciliation both vertical and horizontal, divine and human, bringing yourself into the world’s needs large and small as you are called.

It was very interesting to hear the comments of the few others there. J continues to amaze me.  About the time I have him pegged and labeled in his conservative pastoral theology and politics, he reveals a heart open to God and  willing to wrestle with divine promptings outside his previous understandings.

Disturbing was how a discussion of “the least of these” turned to whether our own future tense salvation was threatened if we fell among the goats.  We so quickly make it about us.  Never mind that today we drove (our society prevents us from having to walk by and see or touch) past Him in need, turned up the MP3, hid behind our window tint, and hurried past His need to reach our temples.  To the credit of the friends there, I believe they were touched and deeply considered that interpretation when raised.  But, I am quite sure that today we all did it again.

Thank you again D for inviting and encouraging us to live in the discomfort of encountering without answers, loving as sisters and brothers (not parents to children), and daily struggling to walk in holy footprints.

peace

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is not running for President.  Like him or hate him, he is not the candidate.  I would hate to labeled by some of the pastors whose church’s I have attended.  There many reasons people attend churches and few with IQs above 70 agree with everything they hear.  But, I do not believe this mess is about any of that.

To be sure its about filling the news with the most titillating, lowest denominator water cooler gossip fodder.  Never mind thousands dying around the world because of our policies, actions, and in-actions.  Do not focus on the true causes of anything, or actually investigate a story beyond the latest pronouncements of paid mouthpieces.  Just put up garbage that fuels conversations and fights for ratings to boost the cost of advertising.

But, it is worse.  It is about not daring to give voice to the disenfranchised — your race!  We might vote for you with black skin, but do NOT voice any views that are not easily swallowed by middle class whites.  Apparently, you are not allowed to have any friends who do either.  This tempest in a teapot, is not innocent.  This is power intimidating all other voices.

I would like to reassure myself and say, “now people just want to be careful of the views of who ends up in the White House.”  But, the truth is that if you dare to voice any viewpoint we don’t like, then we will not buy your music, attend your movies, allow you to gain tenure where you might be safe to profess it…..  we have sold our souls to gods of sameness, niceness, supposed correctness which are actually disguises of domination, intimidation, and racism.  And, Hillary had better not enjoy it too much.  If they manage to reverse the situation and make her the candidate — she will be next.  True public debate is dead.

I fear we are brain dead waiting on the switch to be pulled.

peace

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Thanks to a friend at church letting some friends at home know that I am available, I will be speaking at the Petersburg Church of God on June 1. (T, strange thing is I have been told that the fact they have no intention of really listening is why I can have the invite without resume or reputation!) I can’t wait.

I can share what I feel led to share, and if they think I am a nut — they can smile and watch me drive away and never invite me back! If they don’t feel so friendly about it, I can smile and wave and drive away home.

But, I know some neat folks up that way working to live out the Gospel among hard to reach kids. So, even if there are just one or two in their midst with the ears to hear, at least I can encourage them. If the congregation is able to hear the love of God in what I share, then maybe I can visit and encourage them again while they search for a new pastor. And, I may just take a few friends from here along to celebrate the gift of the opportunity.

peace

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My friend asked just one question, “How have you not given up on public schools?” And I am off in wonder-land again. I wonder if there is anything of man I have NOT given up on.

I have indeed given up on public education as anything more than a government service making grandiose claims and delivering an average product. As far as reaching all children, providing fair access into our society, or truly educating any children truly well, I have given up on the bigger system.

I have also given up on Republicans, Democrats, Socialists, Communists, Unionists, Creationists, Scientists, Environmentalists, Pacifists, Communitarians, Presbyterians–Methodists, Baptists…ad nauseum, most Evangelicals, Fundamentalists, Legalists, Liberationists, Academics, and Capitalists. If the game is bringing hope to mankind’s mess, they are all failures base on any observable results. I never put any any faith in fascists, racists, militarists, nativists, new agists or nationalists to start with, so nothing to surrender there.

I truly believe I have given up on every option known to man, based on man, or on the ideas and ideals of men. My hope and trust is centered in Jesus Christ crucified and risen — nothing more, nothing less. Sounds pitifully like an old hymn and supposedly “outdated” religion. But I have given up on religion too, at least anywhere that means defining the one true/best way to worship, live, and serve.

I am down to the only Truth I know. Jesus Christ, at least as much as I can comprehend of Him, is all I know and all I claim. I go to school, to church, to vote, to shop, to walk among the trees as a disciple and a missionary whose favorite Apostle is Andrew. I have given up on the rest. I am left with, “Have you met this man called Jesus?”

peace

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(Thanks for asking LD, yes we.)  We make little moves (Thank you T for introducing me to Pastor Trocme and his village!) little moves against the flood, against the night.

I do not know where we are on the grinding wheels of history, the possible final chapters of ecological collapse, the great unfolding of the prophecies of old.  I have finally admitted my mind just is not that big.  I know there are bad bad signs locally and globally that we have learned very little for all our study.  There are horrific things both happening and predicted, and I place no stock in Polly Anna.  Further, I have no large answers or grand designs — other than an old refrain about knowing Who I believe, and still I am not Him!

I am limited and finite.  So my responses are limited and finite even when I dream of grandiose things.  I am also not alone.  There are the few who share these thoughts with me and push on or push back, who struggle in the darkness to care for those about them, who care about things bigger and smaller than ourselves.  I have been given the grace of meeting more and more of us in many places literally around the world.

And we make little moves, I have grown to love the phrase, little moves against the tide.  It matters that today we take care of this child, this person, open this mind a bit, restore this hope a little, reassure this heart it does not beat alone.

And I weep before the throne of a King who knows, who lives, who suffers, who dies.  Sometimes my little move is just to sit at His damaged feet and weep.  And then, we get up, go out, and watch for today’s opportunity to make another little move.

peace

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They are rioting, around the world, in multiple countries, the poor and hungry are rioting.  Food has gone beyond the price of those who used to be able to afford a little, not enough, but a little.  Now they are starving and rioting.  The dictatorial governments they also live under will restore order.  The more they kill in the process, the further the food goes, but still not affordable.  It is partially because of oil, oil that will eventually run out but that right now is through the roof because the wealthy are using it as a futures commodity for speculative trading and insane profits.  So they are starving and they are rioting.

And the ‘caring’ will send relief, bags of rice to last them a bit longer.  We will have our children play computer games that send rice 20 grains an answer and we will sleep thinking we helped.  But we will not re-examine the system.  We do not see any way that we have any power to change the system.  Just like the teachers who could not find a way to help “he” on the micro, we will not find any true answers for “they” in the macro.  So we will accept media spin, truisms, and band-aids to feel better.  We will send some money and some rice, and go to bed.

But they are not OK.  We are not OK.  The cards are quivering.

peace

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He is repeating the grade and failing again.  He can do the work, I have seen it.  He can pass the state exams and does.  He usually gets “A’s” on my classroom tests.  But when it comes to the daily work, he becomes Bartleby.  He just sits there, quiet, hiding under his long hair hanging forward, and shakes his head.  He is always late, comes slowly creeping down the hall in his own little world.  AT least if he knows you are watching!

Catch him when only kids are there and its completely different!  He is smiling laughing joking rough housing running — being a kid — until he sees an adult.  Then, just Bartleby again.

So we met as the “Intervention Team” today in all our professional grandeur.  We discussed his home, his record, his scores, potential to qualify for ‘help,’ and we declared him to be OK.  He is not OK.  But, we know why.  We have met his family and we know why he acts like he does.  We have nothing to offer him and so we declare that he shall be promoted and “see what he does.”  We say he is OK.  He is not.  Neither are we.

peace

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She ran into me with a kind of shoulder and hip side bump strong enough to move a grown man about a foot, laughed, and ran off to get on the bus.  OK, I started it.  Another girl was manning her spot on safety patrol this afternoon and I was teasing them both.  I had intended to tell today’s patrol girl she looked more intelligent than usual as an irritation to my little friend who is usually on that spot, but today’s girl had her coat all twisted under her crossing guard gear and couldn’t figure out how to operate the zipper and get untangled.  Bright young lady that she is, she was looking anything but confident and intelligent!  So my lame little joke wouldn’t work.  But, I told them both anyway and the three of us had a nice laugh about the situation.  Then on the way to the bus, she blasted into me and laughed her way home.  And I knew she was OK for another day.

You see her father died about a year ago, and her mother has been ill this year.  Her grades have slipped from usual straight “A’s,” and her attitude has been a bit surly at times when corrected by teachers.  Can I blame her?

But, today — for one more day — today, we got the work done, we laughed, she got the last laugh, and skipped away OK.  For today she is OK.

peace

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was listening to a devotion on Luke 5 today and verse 4 jumped out at me. If you look it up, the words above have a comma after speaking and make normal sense in the context of the story. They still brought me up short and I am hoping to get to do my own devotion based on them as the group is interpreting the entire text as a call to “go deep.”

The implied oxymoron of the six words is not that unusual for us. We often say at least one more thing after we have really finished speaking!

But this is Jesus, and the words he says after speaking change the lives of this group of fisherman forever. Having finished teaching, he tells them what to do. It takes me to a contemplation of prayer.

After time we learn to stay in prayer beyond our own talking whether praise, request, or thanksgiving and then listen for what God has for us. But, I wonder how often we still jump up and run as soon as we think He speaks when we ought to be waiting for what He says after He speaks. Perhaps He has a personal word of direction for us beyond the teaching if we would linger.

But, we are busy. That is the usual excuse. I suspect it is something more. He might tell us to do something crazy like fish in the daytime where nothing was swimming at night. And obedience might change what we think we know and require us to act in new ways. He isn’t safe you know. Nobody who knows Him intimately ever said He was safe.

If we staid in holy silence beyond what we believe He is teaching, what might He call us to?

Would we finally understand the psalmist’s proclamation that “deep calls to deep” if we staid past the surface time of busy-ness, mind and words?

Would He call us anew to live out what He clearly already said — to function as the unified Church undivided by our countless petty doctrines and favorite positions, to serve the orphan and widow, to cling to nothing and follow Him?

Would He again lower Peter’s sheet and call us to new behavior that contradicts many things we have believed to be true — to love those we now condemn as he loves them already, to participate in His continuous miracle of creation instead of “ruling” it and using it up, to walk humbly in the world instead of being so sure of anything but Him?

I wonder what we would hear if we staid for what He says after He finishes speaking.

peace

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