cairns

Outside the Wall (Waters) 1:42

All alone, or in two’s,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they’ve given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it’s not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger’s wall.

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I can’t stop laughing. Next time I take some silly turn which plants me in the middle of these folks, I think I will just start reading.

“The priest is to take some of the blood of the guilt offering and put it on the lobe of the right ear of the one to be cleansed, on the thumb of his right hand and on the big toe of his right foot.”

I can hardly wait to hear the “currently relevant” “applied to our lives” “America is the promised people” sermon on that one! But, maybe I am just in a mean mood. Its just that after all the years, after all the theology and theory, the dogma and the arguments, the sermons and the mission trips, I am finally rereading the source material. And I am embarrassed. So much silliness for so many years with such serious results in the condemnation of others and failure to love.

Time to focus on walking in present Truth and Love as Grace chooses to reveal them today.

peace

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If you do not know the James Kavanaugh poem “My Easy God is Gone,” it is worth looking up. 

As I sit here this morning, it occurs to me that my easy universe is gone.  I have recently told a couple of friends that it would seem so much easier to live in just one world view – to live in a world where evil is controlled by spirits and challenged by spiritual means or by biochemical factors modified through science.  Not both.   It might even be easier if I could still buy into a dualistic world where each realm has its space and can be treated in isolation, even in the same time and situation.  However, that world is gone to me.  I know too much of both faith and science to reject either!  I know too much of truth to pretend that it can be fragmented and compartmentalized.  Darkness in the human soul draws us into psychology and prayer, medication and intersession, treatment and blessing.  No matter that the major proponents of each view reject the other; truth does not care much about our petty territories. So, I am looking for the grandest of unifying theories.  It is time to continue the pursuit of that new worldview which acknowledges truth in many forms and languages – even those that apparently contradict.  I am excited about T’s work in environmental issues and faith as I believe it will actually speak to many facets of our current search. It is an exciting time in the evolution of human thought and understanding.  But, it isn’t easy.  Especially when pain comes close and answers seem to matter more, my easy world is gone. 

peace

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Finally finished my recent reads on the emergent church and turned to this lengthy commentary recommended by a trusted friend. 

Since my local church is currently on the beatitudes, I started there.  I am finding the book beyond excellent.  There is thorough reference and footnoting of previous scholarship and alternative interpretations.  And yet, the writing remains clear and approachable rather than technical and academic.  I am finding Bruner’s explanations of these passages very insightful.  As a two volume set, it gets a little pricey.  However, it is worth a look for anybody considering a commentary on Mathew — or for that matter on the life and teachings of Jesus in general.peace 

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exodus 39

I propose that from now on every fundamentalist literalistic preacher who claims that all of the Bible is written as instruction for current practice without exception (as long as it is dealing with women, gays, anyone but themselves) should be required to dress in keeping with this chapter.  They have no right to the claim of priest.  But, since they do make that claim it in so many ways, perhaps they should follow the instructions in the manual.  At least we could spot them from a great enough distance to run!

exodus 40:35

Never noticed this before.  As soon as they completed their place of worship, Moses was excluded from the presence of God.  It had become the age of the priests and Moses was now excluded. 

peace

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Just finished Michael Frost’s Exiles.  A strange and wonderful read in the midst of the dark and painful journey into which we were unexpectedly thrown.  We have indeed been treated like exiles and strangers for the last week by those we have been forced to work through.  More than once, it has felt like God was treating us little better.

So, Frost’s critiques of the consumer church with all its frailties rings very true.  In times like these worship songs that sound like pop ballads of infatuation do not heal.  I prefer old, older, and ancient songs of seeking and finding God in the midst of trouble and tribulation.  His critique of platform led teaching rings true as well.  At times like these I do not need my “pastor” teaching me better doctrine from a man-made hilltop and then inviting me to leave.  I need my friends, family, and pastor beside me kneeling, praying, weeping, and claiming the hope that surpasses our situation and understanding.

The later sections of the book lagged a bit for me, like anytime author’s start telling me the new way to get it right (even while saying there is none).  If you are interested or relate to these things at all, read it all anyway.  There are very helpful truths and questions in each section.

  We are exiles from our culture and in many ways the church is just one more piece of that culture.  But there is hope.  I happily recommend this book.  By the way, the sun is very bright today!

peace 

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Its a quiet snow day.  Just a little sunlight is enough when the world is clothed in snow and ice.  The view out my window lifts my spirits.  In the dark and cold, just a little light brings great relief.  Things are looking better for the loved one I wrote of earlier.  Friends surround us as they also surround the globe.  And there is a little light. 

peace

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A good friend sent me a very funny email about almost falling on a cactus with herself as the victim — just because I needed a laugh.  Now that is the church to me. 

No matter that you may find this kind of friendship more often in bars than churches — Jesus would more likely be in a bar than a church as well!

Thanks!

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don’t ask me how my mind is contemplating theology right now, as I begin writing I do not know.

But, this idea is rolling around, growing, and begs to be expressed.  I have always had problems with American Calvinist versions of election and damnation, even when they are billed as free will.  The idea that God will save those who hear and are able to respond to the message, does not seem much different from the hard core teachings of His only choosing a few elect anyway.  I have written about it here before.

But in the past, I have always seen it presented as a driving force for evangelism and mission — got to go to those millions God is going to damn if we don’t get somebody there to tell them!  What is dawning on me now is how it works in the opposite direction.  I believe its underlying message is actually anti-evangelism as in the original American churches, but more subtly.

I know my church history well enough to know that the old order American Calvinists believed in proving your election, not evangelization.  What I am contemplating now is a similar effect among folks who believe they are evangelicals. 

Does a belief that God is willing to damn millions who never hear lead to a belief that we — white, northern, western, literate, wealthy — have a special claim on the call?  Does it lead to a subtle way of neglecting our neighbor who has so many chances to join us in church?  If God will condemn those who never hear, why should we make extra effort to reach out to those who do not come to us?  Again, I am not talking about anything we would verbalize.  I am talking about subconscious justifications of neglecting our brothers and sisters.

Let me push it past “four laws,”  does it subtly let us have hard hearts toward those who live in poverty, who are without political voice, who are left behind no matter how much propaganda we hear?  If we believe that God is willing to send millions blindly off to hell, does that allow us the subtle out we need to ignore their hell which is now?

Ahh, there is the connection.  Will you ignore me and my suffering loved one if you decide decide we are not like you?  Will you condemn us?  Does the prevalent theology of the American church invite you to look the other way, just like your uncaring god?

peace

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Thursday the 21st:  Beginning to see light and hope again.  Good evidence of growth already for the person in the worst pain, and us as a family.  Much comfort from friends near and far.  Arrangements made for help on many levels.  Time to rejoin the forward journey.  peace 

Sunday update: the church — that is the collected body of believers as opposed to the institution and show — is still the place to go whether it feels like it or not.  Literally thanks be to God for the cousin and the friend who responded immediately with care and prayer from a distance, to the female church friend who prayed this morning directly to the heart of each aspect of the issue without being told, to our friend and mentor M for being such a saintly woman of prayer that not going to her was never an option, and for a sermon topic that by “chance” was blessed are those who mourn. 

Things are looking a little better this evening.  But the systems involved in providing the needed care are disgusting and dehumanizing for the entire family.  There are signs of progress, but it is progress at a very high price.  Please keep praying.  We need the God who dwells among us, the kingdom now here not someday and no where, the Savior who suffered.  We need you.

peace

My family and I are in the midst of deep darkness and pain we do not know how to heal.  The specific details are private to the person involved.  But we are in direct battle with hopelessness and despair.

And I can tell you from this pit, we do not need doctrine and theology.  We do not need a church that “gets it right.” In fact church doesn’t feel like a place to go for help at all.  We need friends who truly care.  We need hope.  We need a now present savior. Or like the Psalmist, maybe we want to be left alone to breathe and live!

12 “Hear my prayer, LORD,
       listen to my cry for help;
       do not be deaf to my weeping.
       I dwell with you as a foreigner,
       a stranger, as all my ancestors were.

    13 Look away from me, that I may enjoy life again
       before I depart and am no more.”

peace

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